All we want is to find a good roommate in NYC! Is it too much to ask? In fact, at Roomi, we’ve been successfully matching New Yorkers with their dream place for years now. But, what if you and your roommate skipping hand-in-hand along Broadway isn’t a reality? What if you’re experiencing conflicts and you’re unsure how to resolve them? Well, it’s 2020, and that means we can get away with using 2020-type methods of communication. The text message! Studies suggest that it is better to manage common roommate conflicts through text messages rather than confrontation. Because texting your roomie gives them time to analyze their mistakes and act accordingly. It also gives you enough time to string your thoughts and watch your tone.

So in this article, Roomi will help you resolve common roommate conflicts by showing you how to craft the perfect text!

Let’s look at the most common roommate conflicts!

#1 Their friends or partner are over too often!

You agreed to live with one person, and all of a sudden, it feels like your place is overrun! There’s their SO, friends, colleagues, classmates, neighbors, and grandma’s dog! All roommates enjoy others to have guests over, but not ATM. Loud chatting, higher electricity bills, and a bathroom that’s always occupied? If this sounds familiar, grab your phone and text your roomie this:

Hey! Are you free to talk about our guest policy in the apartment later? Your [friends/partner] are great, but they’re over a lot, and I don’t feel like I get much space at home. I think it would help if we limited the number of times we each have guests over to [x] per week. Is that ok with you?

Related: The Habits That Put You In The ‘Annoying Roommate’ Zone

#2 They don’t clean up after themselves!

Dealing with a messy roomi takes its toll – no one likes seeing dirty dishes in the sink or overflowing trash cans in the kitchen. This is a common roommate conflict! Remember that two people often have different definitions of what “mess” actually is! However, there are basic standards that everyone can and should adhere to. If this is becoming an ongoing issue, text your roomie:

Hey! I don’t mean to nag, but the apartment has been really messy lately, and I feel like I’m cleaning up after you often. Those [dishes/frying pans/wine glasses] have been on the counter for a few days, and I can’t get to the sink to do my own washing up. Would you mind checking up on your mess when you’re home?

Related: Help! My Roommate is the Most Annoying Person on the Planet!

#3 Heating & cooling debates!

You like a cool, comfortable apartment, but your roomi cranks up the heating at any given opportunity. If you feel yourself sweating at home, send a text to come to an agreement before a fight really heats up. Remember that some people feel temperature differently; don’t assume that everyone shares the same perception as you. Text your roomie:

Hey! I noticed the heating in the apartment keeps getting cranked up really high! I kinda keep sweating whenever I’m home. Maybe I’m naturally hotter than you are, but can we agree on a constant temperature? A good standard room temperature is around 70 – maybe we can try that and see if it’s comfortable for both of us before I melt!

#4 Damages!

So, they broke a lamp, spilled coffee on the sofa, or scratched the flooring. However, your roomie hasn’t brought up the mistake with you. The issue here is that damage beyond general wear-and-tear could affect how much deposit you get back. Leaving both of you out of pocket. Wait a day or two after noticing the damage, as they may have already made steps to fix the problem. If you hear nothing, text your roomie this:

Hey! I noticed [x] is damaged. These things happen, but I just wanted to make sure you’ve contacted a [cleaner/tradesperson] to get it fixed? Let me know if you haven’t had a chance, and I’ll look for someone who can help. I’ll pass the number onto you as I’d like to get it fixed as soon as possible to make sure we get our full deposit back when we leave!

#5 They stole your food! (Most common roommate conflict in the history of coliving)

This by far is the most common roommate conflict! When your snacks and leftovers keep going missing, it can be infuriating; we get it! Skip the face-to-face conflict(no one should have to see you get all red-faced over missing cookies). Instead, text your roomie something that’s straight to the point:

Hey! My [leftover stir fry/chips and salsa] have gone missing, and I wondered if you’ve taken them by mistake? It’s cool if you have, I just want to make sure it doesn’t happen again because I can’t afford to buy more groceries each week. I can start labeling my food to avoid us getting confused in the future if that helps.

Roomi advice: If sending your roomie a text doesn’t work, a face-to-face conversation should be your next approach. It’s much easier to build connections and convey emotions when someone can actually see us. Make sure to talk it out with your roomie after addressing things that bother you.

We hope that our blog on solving common roommate conflicts helped(fingers crossed) you and your roomi to understand each other better!

D’you know what else Roomi does outside of helping its readers solve common roommate conflicts? With our ever-increasing lists of rooms and roommates across the world, we help you find your perfect match! Download the app here and hop on the easiest ride home, ever!